How Do I Get Married in the Catholic Church?

Start Early

If you are engaged and want to marry in the Catholic Church, congratulations. The single most useful piece of advice is this: contact the parish early, ideally as soon as you are engaged and before you book a reception venue.

Most parishes and dioceses ask for at least six months’ notice, and many recommend a year. This gives time for marriage preparation and paperwork, and for any special permissions that may be needed. Popular churches and dates book out quickly too.

Who Can Marry in the Church?

For a Catholic, marriage is a sacrament, and the Church has some basic requirements (CCC 1625–1637):

At least one of you must be Catholic. If both are Catholic, things are simplest. If one is not, see below.
Both must be free to marry. If either of you has been married before, even in a civil ceremony or another church, the earlier marriage will need to be examined. You may not be able to set a date until this is resolved. Raise it with the priest at your very first meeting.
Both must enter the marriage freely, intending a lifelong, faithful union open to children.

Where Can You Marry?

Catholics are normally required to marry in a Catholic church, usually the parish of the bride or groom, before a priest or deacon and two witnesses. This is called the canonical form of marriage (canon 1108).

Weddings on a beach, in a garden or at a reception venue are not normally permitted for Catholics. In certain situations, especially when marrying a non-Catholic, the bishop can grant a dispensation allowing the wedding to take place elsewhere, for instance in the other person’s church. Ask your priest early if this matters to you.

The First Meeting

At your first meeting with the priest or parish marriage coordinator, you will usually:

discuss possible dates;
talk about your faith, your relationship and why you want to marry in the Church;
begin a prenuptial enquiry, a set of questions confirming that you are free to marry and understand what marriage means;
be told what documents and preparation are needed.

Do not be nervous. The priest is not there to examine you. He wants to help you prepare for a good marriage, not just a good wedding.

The Paperwork

You will usually need:

A recent baptismal certificate for each Catholic party. This is not the original certificate from your baptism, but a newly issued copy, usually dated within the last six months, obtained from the parish where you were baptised. It will carry notes about any later sacraments or marriages.
Evidence of baptism for a baptised non-Catholic, if applicable.
Confirmation details, if available. Catholics are encouraged to be confirmed before marriage, if possible.
Civil documents. In Australia, a priest is also a civil marriage celebrant, so your marriage in church is also legally recognised. You must lodge a Notice of Intended Marriage with the priest or celebrant at least one month (and no more than eighteen months) before the wedding, along with proof of identity and birth. Requirements differ in other countries, so check locally.
Evidence of the end of any previous marriage, such as a divorce certificate and, if the earlier marriage involved a Catholic or was a religious marriage, a declaration of nullity.

Marriage Preparation

Most dioceses require couples to take part in marriage preparation. This might be a weekend course, a series of evenings with other couples, sessions with a trained mentor couple, or a questionnaire-based programme that helps you discuss your expectations.

Topics usually include communication, conflict, money, family backgrounds, sexuality and natural family planning, children, faith and the meaning of the sacrament. Many couples go in reluctantly and come out grateful. It is a chance to talk about things that will matter for decades.

Marrying Someone Who Is Not Catholic

Many Catholics marry someone of another faith or no faith. The Church allows this, with some conditions.

If your partner is a baptised Christian (for example, Anglican or Uniting), the bishop gives permission for what is called a mixed marriage (canon 1124). This is usually routine. It is still a sacramental marriage, because both of you are baptised.

If your partner is not baptised (for example, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu or of no religion), the bishop grants a dispensation from the impediment of “disparity of worship” (canon 1086). This, too, is commonly given. The marriage is a valid natural marriage, though not a sacrament in the strict sense.

In both cases, the Catholic party is asked to promise to remain faithful to the faith and to do all in their power to have any children baptised and brought up Catholic (canon 1125). The non-Catholic party is informed of this promise but is not asked to make it.

Planning the Ceremony

You can marry either:

within Mass (a Nuptial Mass), usually when both are Catholic; or
in a ceremony outside Mass, which is often recommended when one partner is not Catholic.

You will help choose the readings, the music and the order of the liturgy. Readings come from Scripture, and music should be suitable for worship. Secular songs are usually better kept for the reception. Your parish will guide you.

On the Day

The heart of the ceremony is the exchange of consent. In the Latin Church, the bride and groom themselves are the ministers of the sacrament: they marry each other, before the priest and witnesses, who receive their consent on behalf of the Church (CCC 1623). The priest then blesses the rings, and the couple sign the register.

It is a short moment that changes everything.

Already Married Civilly?

If you are Catholic and were married civilly or in another church without permission, your marriage may need to be convalidated, that is, celebrated according to the Church’s form. If neither of you was married before, this is usually a simple process. Speak to your parish priest.

A Sacrament, Not Just a Wedding

It is easy to get caught up in dresses, venues and guest lists. They have their place. But the Church invites you to see your wedding as the beginning of a vocation: a lifelong path to holiness together. The grace of the sacrament does not end on the wedding day. It is given for every day of the marriage that follows.