Catholic Life · Sickness, Death and Mourning

How Do Catholics Pray for Someone Who Has Died?

Love Does Not End

When someone we love dies, we often feel helpless. There seems to be nothing more we can do for them.

Catholics believe there is. Because of the communion of saints, the bond of love between the living and the dead is not broken (CCC 958). Those who have died in God’s friendship but still need purification can be helped by our prayers. (For the teaching behind this, see What Is Purgatory?)

Praying for the dead is one of the oldest Christian practices, and one of the spiritual works of mercy. It is also a great comfort for those who grieve. Here is how to do it.

Have a Mass Offered

The greatest thing you can do for someone who has died is to have Mass offered for them. The Church has always taught that the Eucharistic sacrifice is the most powerful prayer for the dead (CCC 1032, 1371).

How to arrange a Mass intention

Contact a parish office, in person, by phone or online.
Give the name of the person and, if you wish, the date you would like the Mass said. Popular dates (anniversaries, Sundays) may need booking in advance.
Make an offering. It is customary to give a small offering, called a Mass stipend, to the priest. The amount is set by the diocese and is usually modest. It is not “paying for” the Mass, which cannot be bought; it is an offering for the priest’s support. If you cannot afford it, tell the priest; no one should be refused.

The Mass may be offered at a public parish Mass, where the person’s name may be read out, or privately by the priest. Either way, the Mass is offered for them.

You can also send a Mass card to a grieving family, letting them know a Mass will be offered for their loved one. Many people find this more meaningful than flowers.

Gregorian Masses

A traditional practice is to have thirty Masses offered on thirty consecutive days for one person who has died. These are called Gregorian Masses, after Pope St Gregory the Great. Some religious communities and parishes arrange them.

Traditional Prayers

Many simple prayers can be said for the dead at any time.

Eternal Rest, the most common:

Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. May they rest in peace. Amen.

Many Catholics say it whenever they pass a cemetery, hear of a death, or remember someone who has died. It is also traditionally said after grace at meals.

The De Profundis: Psalm 130, “Out of the depths I cry to You, O Lord,” has been prayed for the dead for centuries.

The Rosary: offering a Rosary, or a decade of it, for someone who has died.

The Chaplet of Divine Mercy, especially for those who have died suddenly.

Your own words: simply talking to God about the person, thanking Him for their life and asking Him to bring them to the fullness of His love.

Anniversaries and Special Days

Catholics traditionally remember the dead at particular times:

The month’s mind: a Mass about a month after the death.
The anniversary of death each year.
Birthdays and other significant dates.
All Souls’ Day, 2 November, when the whole Church prays for the dead.

November: The Month of the Holy Souls

The whole month of November is dedicated to praying for the dead.

All Saints (1 November) celebrates those in heaven; All Souls (2 November) prays for those being purified.
Many parishes have a book of remembrance in November where you can write the names of your dead.
The Church grants a plenary indulgence, applicable only to the souls in purgatory, to those who visit a cemetery and pray for the dead on any day from 1 to 8 November, and to those who visit a church and pray the Our Father and the Creed on All Souls’ Day, under the usual conditions: Confession, Communion, prayer for the Pope’s intentions, and freedom from attachment to sin.

Visiting the Grave

Visiting the grave or columbarium of someone you love is itself a form of prayer. Many families bring flowers, light a candle, sprinkle holy water, and pray the Eternal Rest or a decade of the Rosary. It is good to bring children too, teaching them that we remember and pray for those who have gone before us.

Can I Pray for Someone Who Was Not Catholic?

Yes. You can pray for anyone who has died, of any faith or none, and commend them to God’s mercy. A Mass can be offered for a non-Catholic too.

What About Someone I Think Is in Heaven?

We cannot know for certain who is already in heaven, unless the Church has declared them a saint. So Catholics continue to pray for their loved ones, trusting that if they no longer need our prayers, God applies them to others who do. It is also natural and good to ask our loved ones to pray for us.

Praying While Grieving

Grief can make prayer very hard. You may feel numb, angry or far from God. That is normal. Even the shortest prayer, “Lord, have mercy on her,” “Jesus, I trust You with him,” is enough. Let others pray for you and with you.

Many people find that praying for their loved one becomes a way of continuing to love them. It turns grief into hope, and keeps them close until, as Catholics believe, we meet again.