Catholic Life · Confession and Communion

How Do I Go to Confession? A Step-by-Step Guide

Easier Than You Think

Many Catholics feel nervous about Confession. Some have not been in years and have forgotten what to do. Others go regularly but still feel anxious each time.

Here is the good news: Confession is simple, private and short. Priests hear confessions all the time, and nothing you say will shock them. If you forget what to say, the priest will gently help you. (For why Catholics confess to a priest at all, see Why Do Catholics Confess to a Priest?)

When and Where

Most parishes offer Confession at set times, often on Saturday mornings or before weekend Masses. Check the parish bulletin or website. You can also ring the parish and ask for an appointment, which is a good idea if it has been a long time or you have a lot on your mind.

At the church, you will usually find a confessional or reconciliation room. Most offer two options:

behind a screen, kneeling, where the priest cannot see you; or
face to face, sitting in a chair opposite the priest.

Choose whichever you prefer.

Before: Examine Your Conscience

Before going in, spend some time reflecting on your sins since your last confession. This is called an examination of conscience. Many people use a list of questions based on the Ten Commandments or the Beatitudes. (See How Do I Examine My Conscience Before Confession?)

You must confess all mortal sins you are aware of: serious sins committed with full knowledge and deliberate consent. Give the kind of sin and roughly how many times. Confessing venial sins is not required but is strongly recommended (CCC 1456–1458). (See What Are Mortal and Venial Sins?)

It can help to jot a few notes on paper or your phone.

Step by Step

1. Begin

When the priest is ready, make the Sign of the Cross and say:

“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been [how long] since my last confession.”

The priest may say a short blessing or read a brief passage of Scripture.

2. Confess your sins

Tell the priest your sins simply and honestly. You do not need to give long explanations or stories. Something like:

“I missed Mass on Sunday twice without a good reason. I lost my temper with my children several times. I gossiped about a colleague. I lied to my husband about money once.”

If you have a serious sin you are embarrassed about, confess it anyway; it may help to say it first and get it over with. If you are unsure whether something is a sin, you can ask.

When you have finished, say:

“For these and all my sins, I am truly sorry.”

3. Listen to the priest

The priest may offer some words of advice or encouragement, and may ask a question if something was unclear.

4. Receive your penance

The priest will give you a penance: usually some prayers to say, a passage of Scripture to read, or a good deed to do. It is a small sign of your desire to make amends.

5. Say an Act of Contrition

The priest will ask you to express your sorrow to God. You can use a traditional Act of Contrition, such as:

“O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended You, and I detest all my sins, because I dread the loss of heaven and the pains of hell; but most of all because they offend You, my God, who are all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Your grace, to confess my sins, to do penance, and to amend my life. Amen.”

Or a shorter one:

“My God, I am sorry for my sins with all my heart. In choosing to do wrong and failing to do good, I have sinned against You, whom I should love above all things. I firmly intend, with Your help, to do penance, to sin no more, and to avoid whatever leads me to sin. Our Saviour Jesus Christ suffered and died for us. In His name, my God, have mercy.”

If you cannot remember one, a card is often provided in the confessional, or you can simply say in your own words that you are sorry.

6. Receive absolution

The priest will extend his hand and say the words of absolution, ending with: “I absolve you from your sins, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” Make the Sign of the Cross and answer “Amen.”

7. Finish

The priest may say, “Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good,” and you reply, “His mercy endures for ever.” Or he may simply say, “Go in peace.” Then leave, and do your penance as soon as you can.

Common Worries

“I’ve forgotten how.” Tell the priest at the start. He will guide you through it.

“I forgot a sin.” If you honestly forget a sin, it is forgiven along with the others. If you remember a mortal sin later, mention it at your next confession.

“What if the priest knows me?” The priest is bound by the seal of confession: he may never reveal what you have confessed, to anyone, for any reason, under the most serious penalty (CCC 1467). Priests have gone to prison and even died rather than break it. If it still worries you, go behind the screen or to another parish.

“I keep confessing the same sins.” That is normal. (See How Do I Overcome a Sin I Keep Confessing?)

“How often should I go?” The Church requires Catholics to confess serious sins at least once a year (canon 989). Many find monthly confession very helpful for growing in holiness.

Afterwards

Many people feel enormous relief and peace after Confession. Others feel nothing in particular. Either way, if you confessed honestly and received absolution, your sins are forgiven. Thank God for His mercy, do your penance, and begin again.